Delay of Gratification?

I remember way back when, when I had the privilege to study psychology under the one and only, great Mr. Jonas. Now, nothing against Mr. Jonas, but I didn't pay much attention when he wasn't showing a movie - meaning I paid attention pretty much all class, every class. During one such momentary lapse in movie-viewing, I was doodling until I heard Mr. Jonas say something about cookies. I've always learned best when food was involved. Anyway, Mr. Jonas talked about an experiment in which kids could put off eating a cookie for a while to get an extra one. Each category of kid, depending on whether they waited or not, were tracked through life and the experimenters found out that the kids who could put off gratification did better in life. Little did I know that I would actually remember that piece of knowledge and that it would ruin a perfectly good food-filled day.

Saturday: Being something of a Jew, and Saturday being somewhat of a holiday, I was guilted into fasting for the day. Blasphemy, I know! How can I, Big (Not) Fat Dan, skip out on food for a day?! The answer is I didn't: for the dedicated readers of this blog, I broke down and ate dinner before the sun set. (I was short by maybe half an hour, so I don't think I'm going to hell.) I had General Tsao's Chicken and a Spring Roll delivered from the most awesomely named Chinese joint ever: Bruce Lee's Chinese Cuisine. After an entire day of neither being Big nor Fat, the delay of gratification paid off. That was quite possibly one of the best Chinese meals I've ever had. Simply awesome. At this point I was thinking, hey, I guess Mr. Jonas was right!

Sunday: If there is anything true in this world it is that I love food. Period. But good food, now that is the meaning of my life. So I put the Mr. Jonas theory to the test. Not realizing what I was doing, I tried fasting for a second day in a row. Sunday breakfast? Nope. Brunch maybe? No sir. Finally 5 o'clock rolled around - the dining hall was open for dinner. But what did I do? I hypothesized that the longer I went without eating, the better the food at dinner would be. So I waited. Until 6:50. 10 minutes before the cafeteria closes. I ran over to Stimson, practically skipping, drooling with the prospect of the culinary orgy I was about to partake in. But oh, what providence! What divine intelligence! That I should strive and fail completely! The dining hall had closed early! I returned to my room empty-stomached and completely broken. For dinner I had little pieces of broken pretzel sticks and some peanut butter crackers.

Delay of gratification my ass!

I hope Freud died of starvation.

- Not Fat Dan