BREAKING NEWS

Over this past year we* at WDYHD have tried, oftentimes with little success, to stay out of the 2008 presidential election. The reason we are so enamored with this process and the candidate we each support is in large part due to this being our first election. Another factor is probably the lack of anything else to talk about. But regardless, we've come to a conclusion about the constant reiterations of old news and the poignantly pitiful talking points:

We're tired of all this crap!

And so I am taking the space of this post to announce that we refuse to continue to inhabit today's world of politics. That's right, this site is endorsing none other than BOB DOLE. I believe Bob Dole embodies the epitome of what some call "President" while others call "All around awesome guy." Here are just a few reasons why we think Bob Dole should be the next president (feel free to add your own):

1.) The Apocalypse of Oh 12.

I believe Bob Dole has all of the traits necessary in a President to usher in the Apocalypse of 2012. The primary trait of pertinence is the fact that Bob Dole will be the cause of said apocalypse --

I won't get into the nitty gritty details of this, but take my word for it. Also, Bob Dole's hometown of Lawrence, Kansas (and soon-to-be capitol of the country) is completely land-locked. It is the ideal location for the seat of government (and Dole) when the tsunamis from the meteor strikes hit. This is the kind of issue that should be most important to voters, not the manufactured issues of foreign policy and the economy. People never learn.

2.) Youth Vote

Bob Dole has the youth vote, as you can see for yourself in the linked youtube video. Notice the piercings, the goth, the pot, the bongos, the YOUTUBE. Bob Dole can easily harness this base of seemingly unruly youth to his advantage. So what if he's 85 years old? Elvis was 85 at one point (after death) and goshdarnit, the youth thought he was "cool."




3.) 3rd Person Narration

No explanation necessary, the fact that Bob Dole refers to himself as Bob Dole makes it easier for us Americans to understand who Bob Dole's talking about. And who doesn't like the name Bob Dole anyway?

Breakfast: I had plenty of time to have breakfast before class today. Instead I played video games.
Lunch: For lunch I had spanakopita or spinach pie or whatever it's being called this week -- one of my favorite foods. I accompanied it with ketchup and a newspaper.
Dinner: Tuna Melt and philosophy.

P.S. Vote in the poll! It's only up for a day or two because that's all the time I got!

*All references to "we" or "the site" refer purely to myself. But hell, I run this place so yeah.