ZOMBEEEEEEEEES.
(An epic tale of life and death and brains.)
Update @ 2:51 p.m.: Sorry I haven't posted anything yet, today's been pretty crazy what with the zombie horde after me and no internet access and all. I promise I'll update when I can, but I think there's a mission for the few humans left in a bit. In the mean time, here's an article about why I can't update yet.
Update @ (ironically enough) 3:51 p.m.: I'm sorry to say I don't have much food to talk about since I haven't had a real meal in quite a while. (I have a store of snacks in my room.) You're probably wondering what's going on soI'll tell you what's going on: Zombie outbreak! It's pretty much a game of tag with nerf guns and socks here at Goucher College. It started midnight Wednesday and will probably last 'till Sunday or so. Right now there are 65 humans and 91 zombies -- somehow I've managed to stay Human for this long. This morning I left early for class and went the long way since the main path is pretty much no-man's land. I made it to class OK and discussed what a "nation" really is until 11:25. But oh no, what's that you say? I have to get to the library for an interview for a job next fall? Well OK, I'll just stroll over there without any nerf guns out so nobody notices me. Success! Also, got a job for next semester. Double success!
This is when I got a bit worried though. My room, in Gamble, is across campus - more specifically, across a zombie-infested campus. I decided to just go for it, both hands in pockets, both holding socks at the ready. I went out the side way and passed two zombies a short distance away. Crap. OK, Dan, play it cool. Just keep walking. I could hear their hearts (or whatever functions as a zombie heart) beating at the prospect of a bloody meal. I went down the steps, turned to the side and hugged the corner. Sure enough, a zombie came down, expecting me to not know he was going to follow me. I toss a sock and he's stunned for 15 minutes (so he can't get me) but then the other zombie comes trundling down the steps. I picked up the first sock and let 'er rip.
Zombies: 0, Me: 2.
As they stood there, dumbfounded and blood-thirsty I, for once, said exactly what I wanted to say exactly when it needed to be said: "Good day, gentlemen." I returned to my journey around the library, still expecting I'd be in my room in 10 minutes or so. No go. I sat down on a ledge to restock my guns and get my socks ready when waddayaknow, another zombie comes around the corner. Now, this one I know. He lives downstairs and we're in a class together. I banter about how unnecessary eating my brain would be but his zombie-logic couldn't process these words. I just barely socked him when he shouted to a group of hidden zombies to my right! SHIT. It's almost a good thing though because that's where I was headed. I ran, man. I ran like a man without a plan. I ducked under some bushes, still running and BOOM! Pavement. My first injury: bruise on my side, cut/scab on my arm and one hell of a headache for the rest of the day.
Update @ 7:26 p.m. : Plenty has happened, including my first mission, but let's continue where I left off. I don't remember getting up nor any pain, I guess adrenaline really does work. Right before I made it to the stairs where I had only 10 minutes ago faced two zombies another one caught up in his pursuit. We stared each other down for what felt like a while but couldn't've been more than two seconds and he lunged, only to fall to yet another sock. I had no time to grab the sock as Michael Habif, fellow Gamble resident and enthusiastic human-killer was catching up. As I ran up the stairs my legs began to lose energy (asthma kickin' in I assume) and I just barely made it. I knew that the Kelley Lecture Hall, connected to the Science building was only a few feet away and was a safe zone so I rushed towards it. I turned around to hear Michael Habif damn me to hell as he himself had just tripped and would not be able to get me. Safe at last, I sat down for a good while to catch my breath. Good thing the academic buildings are safe zones! I would continue the epic tale but Indiana Jones is calling me, TO BE CONTINUED. (Did I make it all this while alive? Only time will tell!)
Update @ 9:56 p.m. : So where did I leave off? Oh, the Science building. Right. So I walked around, looking for fellow Humans (strength in numbers and all that) and I found a couple getting ready to make a break for a different academic building, the one that I just so happened to have left hours before, because it's generally a human stronghold during the day. They called for backup to come from that building and escort us over and voila! back where I started. This signaled the beginning of the multi-hour down time that both Humans and Zombies experience. We all hung out inside (I got a chocolate-chip cookie and milk from the cafe) and jeered at the hungry zombies outside while more press people gave interviews (no, not me). But what's this? Van Meter (the building I was in) was going to close at 5 and we would be kicked out? Damn. Boman Modine, son of Matthew Modine (actor who looks familiar but isn't especially famous) took charge of the humans in the building and we stormed out of a side entrance, heading for the accepting 24/7 library. We only lost one human which was as much as we could ask for. Then started yet another down-time.
An hour or so later we received word of a mission to take place at a somewhat distant residence hall. Getting there was not too bad, but the mission, to hold a large patio-type area outside the building, was no piece of cake. We had to hold the zombies off for 15 minutes, 15 long minutes after which the mods would flip a coin and, if heads, victory would be had, but if tails, another 15 minute hold-off would take place. Suffice it to say that on one side there were stairs that served as a bottleneck while the other side was wide open. I and a few compatriots manned the stairs while the majority of the humans, including backup that had come from their hiding spots across campus, covered the open space. After a bit, it was evident that the main Zombie force was going for the space behind me so I switched over after the first 15 minutes were up and fate had us stay another 15. Lemme tell ya, a horde of zombies screaming bloody murder as they make their last charge is a sight to (hopefully never) see! I managed to get 5 or so zombies in the charge and lo and behold we managed to hold them off. As a reward we received a length of rope which, when let out in a circle, would create a safe-zone (only to be used once though.) We slowly started making our way back to the library as the zombies, most of which were still stunned from the battle, tried to circle us. We warily kept going towards the library as zombie reinforcements came up on the left. I again got Michael Habif-Zombie and narrowly got some dude who tried to baseball-style slide into me. We lost 10 or so over the mission, but hey, we have a rope! Now we're in the library, watching Indiana Jones and other movies on a gigantic plasma TV upstairs and pizza arrived a short while ago. I have no idea what we're going to do, there's a crowd of Zombies not far from the sole entrance. I might just end up sleeping here, but I sincerely hope I eventually make it back to my room to take a shower (luckily bathrooms are safe and one's right across from my room.) Maybe I'll just give up -- as a human I'm trying to preserve my life but this life is getting pretty boring...
Update @ 1:15 a.m.: Yes to be continued! Not all that interestingly though. There are a crapton of zombies outside so we're most certainly pinned down. What do you do in such a situation? Watch zombie movies of course! Looks like I might end up staying here the night. Either that or just walk out and die a bloody death. Hoora.
Update @ 3:30 a.m.: Sweaty, smelly and tired, I made it back to my room at about 3:20. The zombies that had been in front of the library got upset when we declined a deal and all went back to the presumed zombie headquarters in Tuttle. Ten of us walked out and took a leisurely (paranoid) walk through the woods to go around the main area. Two of the dudes live downstairs from me and I'm the only living person on my floor. I think the zombies on my floor are out to get me. I've been hearing and seeing footsteps in front of my door for a bit now, but I'm right across from the bathroom so who knows if they're zombies or just bathroom people.
I think that should be it for today. I'm not sure if I'm going to have much to say tomorrow - I might go to DC to visit mi hermano and if so I'd have to give up my life fo'sho. Either way, today has been crazy as can be, especially since I did not plan to partake in any of this at all.
Good night and good luck.
Update @ (ironically enough) 3:51 p.m.: I'm sorry to say I don't have much food to talk about since I haven't had a real meal in quite a while. (I have a store of snacks in my room.) You're probably wondering what's going on soI'll tell you what's going on: Zombie outbreak! It's pretty much a game of tag with nerf guns and socks here at Goucher College. It started midnight Wednesday and will probably last 'till Sunday or so. Right now there are 65 humans and 91 zombies -- somehow I've managed to stay Human for this long. This morning I left early for class and went the long way since the main path is pretty much no-man's land. I made it to class OK and discussed what a "nation" really is until 11:25. But oh no, what's that you say? I have to get to the library for an interview for a job next fall? Well OK, I'll just stroll over there without any nerf guns out so nobody notices me. Success! Also, got a job for next semester. Double success!
This is when I got a bit worried though. My room, in Gamble, is across campus - more specifically, across a zombie-infested campus. I decided to just go for it, both hands in pockets, both holding socks at the ready. I went out the side way and passed two zombies a short distance away. Crap. OK, Dan, play it cool. Just keep walking. I could hear their hearts (or whatever functions as a zombie heart) beating at the prospect of a bloody meal. I went down the steps, turned to the side and hugged the corner. Sure enough, a zombie came down, expecting me to not know he was going to follow me. I toss a sock and he's stunned for 15 minutes (so he can't get me) but then the other zombie comes trundling down the steps. I picked up the first sock and let 'er rip.
Zombies: 0, Me: 2.
As they stood there, dumbfounded and blood-thirsty I, for once, said exactly what I wanted to say exactly when it needed to be said: "Good day, gentlemen." I returned to my journey around the library, still expecting I'd be in my room in 10 minutes or so. No go. I sat down on a ledge to restock my guns and get my socks ready when waddayaknow, another zombie comes around the corner. Now, this one I know. He lives downstairs and we're in a class together. I banter about how unnecessary eating my brain would be but his zombie-logic couldn't process these words. I just barely socked him when he shouted to a group of hidden zombies to my right! SHIT. It's almost a good thing though because that's where I was headed. I ran, man. I ran like a man without a plan. I ducked under some bushes, still running and BOOM! Pavement. My first injury: bruise on my side, cut/scab on my arm and one hell of a headache for the rest of the day.
Update @ 7:26 p.m. : Plenty has happened, including my first mission, but let's continue where I left off. I don't remember getting up nor any pain, I guess adrenaline really does work. Right before I made it to the stairs where I had only 10 minutes ago faced two zombies another one caught up in his pursuit. We stared each other down for what felt like a while but couldn't've been more than two seconds and he lunged, only to fall to yet another sock. I had no time to grab the sock as Michael Habif, fellow Gamble resident and enthusiastic human-killer was catching up. As I ran up the stairs my legs began to lose energy (asthma kickin' in I assume) and I just barely made it. I knew that the Kelley Lecture Hall, connected to the Science building was only a few feet away and was a safe zone so I rushed towards it. I turned around to hear Michael Habif damn me to hell as he himself had just tripped and would not be able to get me. Safe at last, I sat down for a good while to catch my breath. Good thing the academic buildings are safe zones! I would continue the epic tale but Indiana Jones is calling me, TO BE CONTINUED. (Did I make it all this while alive? Only time will tell!)
Update @ 9:56 p.m. : So where did I leave off? Oh, the Science building. Right. So I walked around, looking for fellow Humans (strength in numbers and all that) and I found a couple getting ready to make a break for a different academic building, the one that I just so happened to have left hours before, because it's generally a human stronghold during the day. They called for backup to come from that building and escort us over and voila! back where I started. This signaled the beginning of the multi-hour down time that both Humans and Zombies experience. We all hung out inside (I got a chocolate-chip cookie and milk from the cafe) and jeered at the hungry zombies outside while more press people gave interviews (no, not me). But what's this? Van Meter (the building I was in) was going to close at 5 and we would be kicked out? Damn. Boman Modine, son of Matthew Modine (actor who looks familiar but isn't especially famous) took charge of the humans in the building and we stormed out of a side entrance, heading for the accepting 24/7 library. We only lost one human which was as much as we could ask for. Then started yet another down-time.
An hour or so later we received word of a mission to take place at a somewhat distant residence hall. Getting there was not too bad, but the mission, to hold a large patio-type area outside the building, was no piece of cake. We had to hold the zombies off for 15 minutes, 15 long minutes after which the mods would flip a coin and, if heads, victory would be had, but if tails, another 15 minute hold-off would take place. Suffice it to say that on one side there were stairs that served as a bottleneck while the other side was wide open. I and a few compatriots manned the stairs while the majority of the humans, including backup that had come from their hiding spots across campus, covered the open space. After a bit, it was evident that the main Zombie force was going for the space behind me so I switched over after the first 15 minutes were up and fate had us stay another 15. Lemme tell ya, a horde of zombies screaming bloody murder as they make their last charge is a sight to (hopefully never) see! I managed to get 5 or so zombies in the charge and lo and behold we managed to hold them off. As a reward we received a length of rope which, when let out in a circle, would create a safe-zone (only to be used once though.) We slowly started making our way back to the library as the zombies, most of which were still stunned from the battle, tried to circle us. We warily kept going towards the library as zombie reinforcements came up on the left. I again got Michael Habif-Zombie and narrowly got some dude who tried to baseball-style slide into me. We lost 10 or so over the mission, but hey, we have a rope! Now we're in the library, watching Indiana Jones and other movies on a gigantic plasma TV upstairs and pizza arrived a short while ago. I have no idea what we're going to do, there's a crowd of Zombies not far from the sole entrance. I might just end up sleeping here, but I sincerely hope I eventually make it back to my room to take a shower (luckily bathrooms are safe and one's right across from my room.) Maybe I'll just give up -- as a human I'm trying to preserve my life but this life is getting pretty boring...
Update @ 1:15 a.m.: Yes to be continued! Not all that interestingly though. There are a crapton of zombies outside so we're most certainly pinned down. What do you do in such a situation? Watch zombie movies of course! Looks like I might end up staying here the night. Either that or just walk out and die a bloody death. Hoora.
Update @ 3:30 a.m.: Sweaty, smelly and tired, I made it back to my room at about 3:20. The zombies that had been in front of the library got upset when we declined a deal and all went back to the presumed zombie headquarters in Tuttle. Ten of us walked out and took a leisurely (paranoid) walk through the woods to go around the main area. Two of the dudes live downstairs from me and I'm the only living person on my floor. I think the zombies on my floor are out to get me. I've been hearing and seeing footsteps in front of my door for a bit now, but I'm right across from the bathroom so who knows if they're zombies or just bathroom people.
I think that should be it for today. I'm not sure if I'm going to have much to say tomorrow - I might go to DC to visit mi hermano and if so I'd have to give up my life fo'sho. Either way, today has been crazy as can be, especially since I did not plan to partake in any of this at all.
Good night and good luck.
2 comments:
Now see what Dan has done here is fine. He let us know whats going , given us an appetizer if you will, and some entertainment and were not left hanging wondering what is going on and how long were going to have to wait.
I like the little picture.
That Beau! He is by far my favorite Goucher story, hands down. I do believe Beau's rough night was my favorite Goucher story ever! Even beats this one I'm afraid ;)
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