Tonight was one of those times in ones life, when they wish they might have spent a little more time on their foreign language classes.
If only I knew a few more phrases, one or two more Nouns and adjectives.
I knew what I wanted to be able to say this evening as I was kicking my self, once again, for not doing better in school in the line at the ADLI store, with a package of ground turkey, a package of big ole thick sanitary pads, for my dog Sophie to put in her diapers, so she pees there instead of on my furniture, and a package of macadamia cookies that you break and bake. 3 lousy things.
I wanted to say to these people in front of me who were clearly speacking my second tongue..........
"Tell your kid to shut up." "Will you tell your kid to stop running around the store screaming"Hes running across the counter now!" "Will you please look at your kid and either
1. answer him whether or not he can have the m&ms'
Or2. shove something into his big fat mouth so he can't yell anymore.
"How can you ignore him saying mom, mom, mom, mom,mom,mom,mom,mom, papi, papi, papi, papi, papi, momma, mamma, momma". Are you retarded? Are you deaf? do you not speak your own language?
why is the cashier so slow? Porque? Cayete la boca! Esta Loca? No escucha? Porque no esucha? Por favor. El nino esta en asshole!No me gusta usted.Donde esta Susanna? esta en la cocina? o en la sala? Bendajo!!
I hope you can feel my frustration with having a language barrier. There was a point where 4 year old little Jorje was looking right in my face and screaming. "Quiero me dulces, quiero me dulces!(this means I want my candy my sweets or candy) I heard him. did his parents? NO.It was bad because I understood him! I knew what he was communicating. I KNOW WHAT DULCES ARE!
first they let him scream that he wanted them for a million years and I thought that they didnt want him to have the m&ms. But NOOOOO, after allowing him to scream, they suddenly look at him and say, "What?' oh, you want these? he nods yes. Then she reaches into the box and grabs a bag of m&ms and hand them to him!! Why not just give them to him in the first friggin place!!!!!!!.
It was also yet another sociology lesson. Kids are the same wherever you go. they are manipulative little buggers. they all know that the squeacky wheel gets the grease!. Make a scene, drive your parents nuts, and you will get what you want eventually, AND it's fun for you too while your doing it! to watch the expression of all those strange people, to control everyone, making them get angry, making them give you dirty looks! Fun Fun Fun.
See that didn't work with us when our sons were small. We simply took hte bastard outside and beat his ass.(in the car of course) he learned right quick too because hes so smart. Thats why hes the sweet person he is today. We beat him in the food store parking lot. HE DIDNT GET THE M&MS by acting like that! thats why he has many friends today.
beat your kids when you have them. they need it. It makes them better people. (I hope you all are writing all this valuable parenting advice I give you through this blogg down.(dont forget to not to buy a corner lot)
I went to Aldi for Chicken. Pollo en espanol. (Actually turkey but I dont know turkey.) I had to have it make the ,( heres the irony,) TACOS!!!! So I was forced to endure this for a lousy package of meat.
Breakfast was the usual. I had cream of wheat and at around 10 I had a hard boiled egg. Coffee of course.
For lunch I came home and heated up some of this soup I invented on Sunday. Its a chicken soup but I threw spinach in it and pastina but no meatballs. SO it was wedding soup, minus the italian.(meatballs in soup can only be an italian thing)
so, that was that. That was my day and it ended with that frustrating time in ALDI. Actually its still going on because i'm here writing to you all, or Yall if I win the Better Home and gardens greenhouse and we move to Hilton Head South Carolina. I only entered for a month and a half!
That reminds me. A few days ago, subscriptions to magazines we never ordered began showing up in our mailbox.
Draft, a beer magazine for Bill, came on Monday. We were like what? Who ordered this? Had his name and address, etc.
then yesterday, Hallmark magazine came for me. A mystery... HMMNNN Now we get to wonder who sent these to us and why? And what were they thinking when they chose these titles for us. what sort of images of us do they have in their minds.
"Oh that Chris, shes the Hallmark type of girl. She'll love this one. Let get her that and then Bill, well, hes a beer lover!" We'll get thim that."
It had to be my sister....
4 comments:
well as i learned from my two italian roommates, meatballs aren't italian. i got laughed at when i said meatballs were italian. who knew?... not their irish roommate. and i plan on following your advice and beating my kids haha that sounds horrible.
Thank you for beating me mommy!
And could it have been Uncle Ricky's spawn who sent us the magazines? I seem to recall grandmom telling me and dad that Kelsey was having one of those fund raisers at school where they sell magazines and get cheap prizes for it.
ps . (I didnt relaly beat him) we just removed him form the situation and maybe slapped him around a bit
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