Friday, September 19

Avast Ye Land-lubbers! (I Can't Resist, I'm sorry)

It's come to me attention that it's National Talk Like A Pirate Day, and me hearties, let me start by sayin' that this is one of the most beloved holiday's for a Pirate, such as me-self. We Pirates are a fleeting race. Chased from our homes on the open sea by the world's police forces. As I step out onto the poop-deck to greet each sunrise, I am always met with the news of the pirates of the African coast. They always be out to sea, terrorizin' the American cruise ships, takin' hostages, demanding ransoms...Does me heart good to see me bretheren hard at work on the high seas.

Alas, the growing need for finance and the decline in the amount of merchant ships on the Atlantic causes plunderin' sea dogs like me to come ashore and chase an education. Bleh, gives me scurvy just thinkin' about it. Scourges of the sea brought to the mainland just to scrape together some gold for me loyal crew. So it goes.

Today started like any other on this filthy piece of earth. Without the sound of gulls a-crowin' and breakin' waves I already felt out of place. I clomb into this bizarre land-ship and sailed the asphault seas to me places of education for an alchemy lab of some sort. I tell you what me hearties, if any of you can get away without takin' classes on this foul sorcory, all my praises to ye. The class dragged on forever as the time ticked by. Once the eleventh hour had come and passed, it was time for my last class of the day.

This class be a simple one, we all talk about human nature and behavior. Greed motivates all human behavior, I can attest to that! If I could be out somewhere in the seven seas plundering riches and wreacking havoc, I would be there me hearties. Ready yourselves and bare your steel ladies and gentlemen, fair winds be approachin'. The stock market be fallin' and the businesses are ripe for plunder, No quarter shall be given!

Class ended when the sun was high in the sky, I retreated to the gas powered ship and hurried home to finish my daily tasks. Again maties, there is no worse punnishment than this that I have seen in all of me days on this earth. I would sooner kiss the gunner's daughter than do this for three more years, but with the changin' times it seems as though sea dogs like myself must hang up their guns and work for a livin'. Makes me stomach turn sour, mates.

When I arrived back at my quarters, I patiently waited for me beloved lass Meredith to return from the large Philadelphia port. She did finally around 3 but did not arrive here until around 6. After she got here we ate hearty, taking our fill of hot sausages and meatballs. A feast of kings by me standards! 'Twas the first time I had feasted since I rose from bed at sunrise!

I guess this here bein' a food blog and all, I should document my feast for the day for ye.

Breakfast: For anyone who be eatin' this devilish meal, May Jack Ketch have mercy on your soul! I hope ye enjoy the dark abyss of Davey Jones' locker!

Lunch: Nothing, a starving Pirate, cursed to hunt the seas for food for all eternity...or so it seemed.

Dinner: Sausage and Meatballs, I stole some little snacks for me-self as well.

And now, me friends, it is almost time for even the saltiest of all the sea dogs to rest. A toast to all of ye, me pirate brothers, and sisters! The seas belong to us, let us pillage and plunder until our stomachs are fat and our chests run over with gold! Rum for everyone! To make the men brave and the women pretty, Yar-har-har. Yo-ho, yo-ho, A Pirate's life for me.

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