Reboot!

Seems to me we something of a reboot to get back to business. Starting fresh in a new era and all (Eh, eh, anyone?)

So my day started like any other: to the sound of my roommate puking his guts out into a plastic Target bag that was laying around. I can't say just how much I hate vomiting. I'm fine with the whole concept - it's pretty much just a reverse meal - but the physical act of vomiting is the single greatest target of all the hatred my spirit can muster. I remember the last time I threw up. It was early in the morning before a test in AP Government that I stumbled over to the bathroom. The entire time I was throwing up I was picturing my Government teacher, Mrs. Szsxczqczurowski (I could never spell that) - not because it was her image that caused the vomiting, but because for those long and stretched-out minutes she looked like an angel in comparison. She wasn't the worst teacher I'd ever had or anything, but coming into her class every morning was a form of dull and prolonged torture. And yet I would take that in a heartbeat over the sudden and acute sensation of my skull being flipped inside out through my mouth.

I remember thinking then that I never wanted to vomit ever again so long as I lived. This has become my life's goal and it turns out I'm pretty good at it. I avoid alcohol, I don't eat heavy meals right before or after riding roller coasters, my favorite food is watermelon and I try not to imagine what would have happened if Obama had lost (zing! just kidding).

And then I woke up this morning, after a most splendid evening, to a sound I first thought was my roommate pouring water on the floor. "That's strange," I thought. "Maybe he just knocked over a water bottle." And then I heard the most horrible, loud, soul-destroying retching noises I have ever come across. My stomach started to hurt just hearing it. I don't know if it's his vomiting skills that are exceptionally bad or the stomach virus. He vomited a couple more times throughout the day. Every time he throws up I have to either dive under my covers and wait it out or put in earphones and listen to loud jazz - jazz is one of only a few remedies for second-hand vomit known to mankind. I'm convinced he's just getting back at me for convincing him to pay for half of rock band. That or stealing some of his halloween candy.

What a post, huh? Now that all those grimy details are out of the way, on to the food!

Breakfast: After waking up and realizing the room would be full of vomiting for the next while I showered quickly and got the hell out of there. (I went to the Health Center and got him an "upset-stomach" kit, don't worry. I'm not that bad a roommate.) Problem was, my class wouldn't start for another hour and a half. So I resorted to filling my time by filling my stomach with eggs on a croissant.

Lunch: Here's what I do most Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I walk through Pearlstone to check my mailbox and pick up a newspaper on the way to the dining hall across campus. I then eat lunch while reading said newspaper. But what's this? Something happened last night and now all these liberal arts newspaper-posers stole all the New York Times' to tape the front page up on their wall or make triangle hats or do whatever else it is fake readers do with newspapers? I was angry, if you can't tell. I grab one every day and there's always plenty to go around, and then on a day when I especially want to read it, not a single newspaper is left in any of the stands on campus?? What the hell. I would just like to say this to my slice of white pizza with parmesan: I'm sorry I took my anger out on you and chomped you to bits, it wasn't you, it was me. If it's any consolation, I promise not to throw you up.

Dinner: I still didn't want to go back to the room so I spent a good while in the library. My mind can only go so long without food though and I couldn't focus on what I was reading any more. For dinner I had chicken tenders and french fries. It wasn't the most pleasant meal though, what with all the thinking about how food gets digested and, sometimes, no matter how hard you try to prevent it, undigested.

P.S. There, Batman icons. Ya'happy?! Also, anybody else remember that show, Reboot? That was awesome...