Sliding Slowly Into Insanity: A How-To Guide

I moved last Sunday back into my college dorm where the cold waited. Classes don't start until the twenty-sixth but I'm back early for work. This is no mere cabin fever striking me, it is college fever.

An idea born in high heaven this was not; I have little food. I ordered a pizza the other day and stretched it out to four days. By the end of the four days I hated pizza; not actually. It will take truly starving to force me to go to the Superfresh. Maybe Saturday, maybe not; maybe Sunday, maybe not; who knows?

I am the only person on the bottom floor of this square building. There is evidence, but no proof, that someone lives directly above. In the middle of the night I hear drawers close and open and close. Chairs scratch the floor, but who restlessly moves them from here to there to here? Does the ghost upstairs hear me: the sounds of my drawers, my chairs?

As of late I have been talking more with my fingers than with my lips. When I do speak it is only out of an instinct I'd thought long lost. My latest words made me proud, Can I have a large coffee and cookie? And I got that coffee and I got that cookie and my words worked well. The day before I had tried to purchase coffee but bought a toothbrush. When the only words you hear are in your head you start mixing them up.

So my advice to you, thou who wisheth to be insane for a day. Is to curl into a sphere and think this thought: Why are blueberries blue?

After reading what I have written I have come to a conclusion.

Talking about insanity only leads to more insanity.


Breakfast: for breakfast I had a large coffee with extra white sugar.
Lunch: for lunch I had a cookie with raisins and other things: oatmeal.
Dinner: I wanted lasagna but bought a shoe accidentally.


P.S. Every sentence has exactly seventeen syllables. Like American haikus - because that is how I roll, don't you know? Even this one, but I do not really think that this one is so great. My fingers are tired from counting the syllables, and from talking.