Small Adventures

I woke up this morning at 10:25 on the dot to the sound of the alarm on my phone going off. That annoying beeping that was so cleverly rearranged in the form of a catchy jingle so it doesn't disturb you any more than it already is. I made a valiant effort to stretch my body longer than it actually is so that I could reach my phone without getting out of bed, but unfortunately bodies don't work like that. Who designed those things? They're so awkwardly symmetrical. Why can't I just have one extra long arm? Now I'm sure there are about a thousand reasons as to why that would suck, but at the time it seemed useful. I got up, hit the volume button thing on the side of the phone hoping to shut the damn thing up, and got back in bed. Of course, nothing can be that simple, and the alarm went off again 5 minutes later. I always hated the "snooze" option on alarms. If I wanted to wake up at 6:05, then I wouldn't have set my alarm for 6:00. The second time my alarm went off, I was awake enough to question why in the hell the alarm on my phone was set. And in order to answer that question, I'm going back in time one day.

~In the past....~

It's Sunday night. I just got back from work, and am just getting settled back in my room. All is fine and dandy until I'm contacted by Mr. Ray Feeney. He wants to partake in some shenanigans and since I didn't have work until late afternoon the next day, I agreed. This of course means we went to the diner and then back to his house for video games. However, unlike most nights, these Shenanigans were taking longer than usual. Before I knew it, we were playing Portal trying to find the cake at 6 in the morning and...hey! He fell asleep! Sonofabitch. Ray! Wake up! Take me home! Damnit!

And so it was...I was stranded. Times like this I wish teleporters were real. That, or I had a car. I tried to get some sleep, but to no avail. I can never get to sleep at other people's houses. I laid around and complained to myself about how by the time I got home the next day, it would be time to go to work and I would be exhausted. Then at 9, Ray woke up and informed me that he had to take his dog to the vet at 10:45 and that I would likely be accompanying him. Whatever, I had already been awake since forever. He took my phone and set the alarm for 10:25 (cutting it a bit close I thought), and it's been going off at that time ever since. I have no idea how to make it stop. Can anyone help me with this?! I hate cell phones! Make it stop!

~Back to the present...~

And so, all of that being out of the way, I woke up way earlier than I wanted to. I stayed in bed for a little bit, but couldn't fall back asleep. KHAN!! Needless to say, I was very tired from the day before. I never imagined that I would end up at the vet's office, but by the time I got home I only had a very short window to catch up on sleep. At around noon, my phone started ringing. I was reluctant to answer it since it's usually Starbucks, but it was a number that I didn't have in my phone. I picked it up, and it was none other than the most notorious stalker these parts have ever seen.

Robert Curry.

Now, he had been calling me all of last night trying to do something and I had very wittingly avoided him. But since he now knew I was still alive and at home, I understood that there was no avoiding a visit. I had a few hours of doing nothing at home before I was visited by Danny D, and Robert who had surprisingly shaved his beard and no longer looked like a homeless person. We tried to make a movie, but that only ended up with me being carried around by Robert who had painted his face with shaving cream and let it dry out like a mask. I don't know what I was expecting.

After we realized the movie was going nowhere, we watched Easy Money and it was the most boring hour and a half I've had in awhile. Ughh. After that we headed over to Dan's brother's new apartment where we played Dreamcast. Oh, Dreamcast! Those controllers are so ridiculous! Once we were bored of that, Dan's brother cracked out a new movie he had bought called "The Room." And ohmygod...it was the best 99 minutes of my life! Troll 2 now has some competition as the best worst movie ever! It was SO BAD that it was genius! The director of the movie was so oblivious to his own trade that he didn't know the difference between a 35mm camera and an HD camera, and rather than figuring it out, he just decided to shoot using both cameras simultaneously! And they showed this process in the "Behind the Scenes", where you saw that he literally had two giant cameras attached to each other! He was also the main character in the movie, and was an awful actor. I bought the movie off Amazon within minutes of getting home.

After "The Room," we went back to Dan's house and watched Seinfeld, Jay Leno, and Conan before calling it a night because nobody we knew wanted to do anything. Bastards! Ah well. It was one of those Rob Curry type adventures. Beforehand, I dread it. During, my mind is numb. But afterwards, I realize that I loved every minute!

Breakfast: Goddamn cellphone alarm....
Lunch: I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and French-pressed some of my fancy new coffee.
Dinner: Coffee and a donut...I know I'm going to regret being honest about that because my mother will lecture me shortly after reading this.