So I thought I'd shock the crap out of you and blogg about something kind of food related. I call it the cheeseburger bird.
Why you ask?
Well Tommy, because when the cheeseburger bird sings one of its many songs (and they are all incredibly fabulous,)one stands out more than the others and that one , THAT ONE, sounds to me like the bird is calling " cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger consecutively"
I first heard the cheeseburger bird before I saw the cheeseburger bird waking up one Saturday morning I'd say 15 years ago.
More recently, maybe 5 years ago, I noticed this crazy gray bird calling out all these amazing different and unique songs on top of the telephone pole starting at dawn and into the dusk hours....
It really got my attention more last summer when this bird began to harass my cat Jenny .
Now Jenny has had a rough life, lived in a cage in a shelter for two years and was from who knows where in Camden NJ before that. She's not had it easy and in my opinion she finally hit the cat jackpot and came to be with us one night after I decided that our other cat needed another feline around the house. Eventually Jenny discovered "outside" and has been loving life ever since. She's harmless, only hunts moles and mice, minds her own business as the most beautiful flower in my flower bed.
Until the cheeseburger bird discovered her last year and chased and squawked and swooped at her day in and day out.
Summer came and went...I admit I did take the hose to the damn bird a few times on the electric wire(just now realized that could have killed the damn thing butttt) truly I was just trying to break its hyper focus on my cat.
Fall came and then winter we did our thing forgot about cheeseburger..... As the leaves were growing back on the trees , damn if this bird didn't appear again and start up right where it left off only this time out front. Poor Jenny couldn't frolic freely and lay on the walkway without this stupid ass bird attacking her. I began busting out the front door Suddenly every chance I could , chasing it away and making loud noises at it.... Yelling back into its nasty prehistoric bird face. I began wishing terrible things to happen to it..... Like death by Colin Powell , our other cat and how fitting of a name for the little orange hunter that he is. We always thought it was odd that cheeseburger never harassed him but only Jenny from the block. It deserved it! Jenny wasn't doing anything to this bird.
I began to put Colin out WITH Jenny and whispered unthinkable things into his little cat ears like one of those murderous women on the ID channel who get other men to kill their husbands for them...
Colin was quite amused by the cheeseburger. We imagined him saying things to the cheeseburger like( loved that swooping move you just did, do it again closer this time, s. o I can really see how you do it) like the cool Cheetos cat in the commercial. ..
One morning quite uneventfully..... Cheeseburger was not at his usual post on the electrical wire. He didn't sit on my shepherds hook.
Bill though he saw Colin walking into the brush with a gray bird in his mouth but we couldn't be sure he got the cheeseburger.
This morning there was a gray cheeseburger squawking his many songs like crazy. I can only assume this is Mr. cheeseburger. Seems he's over his grieving and searching for a new mrs cheeseburger. Maybe this time he won't choose mrs OCD hyper focus lady bird.
No I do not feel terrible for my thoughts. I do not miss her. She was unbalanced. She was never going to get the therapy she needed or take her meds.
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