Eating Strike

Well folks...as I'm sure you've all heard, I've recently embarked on an eating strike. Not to help stop AIDS or solve world hunger(ha! The irony!), but rather to prove to the world...or rather the Onions...that even the most ridiculous and far fetched assumption can be completely blown out of proportion and influence the masses. I am of course talking about breakfast.

For the past few months, the Onions have been operating under the false claim that breakfast causes cancer, and I now see the influence spreading to the masses(cause we all know how much influence we have over the rest of the world). If the general public is lead to believe that breakfast causes cancer, then the world will never be the same. Delicacies such as waffles, pancakes, eggs, and other breakfast foods will no longer be made available. The drama of cereal box celebrities, such as that of the Trix rabbit, will no longer be of interest to people. Although it pains me to say it, without a major portion of their business, establishments known as diners will no longer be open 24/7, and some may even close down to be turned into car lots. With diners out of commission, the main supply of coffee to most people will also be gone. Americans may soon realize that coffee tastes bad, and wonder why they drink something that they need to put cream and sugar in to even make it bearable. African coffee suppliers will ultimately go out of business, and I think we all know will happen to the rest of the world without Africa supporting us.

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And so, I plead to you people to reconsider the blind assumption that breakfast causes cancer! I will take what little influence I have on the public, and use it to venture head on into an eating strike. As of last week, I have been going out of my way, and making sure to get breakfast every single morning. Not out of love for breakfast, but rather in hopes that others will follow my example! Well I hereby announce that I plan to take this strike to the next level. I plan to turn my pro-breakfast campaign into a full scale scientific investigation on the effects of breakfast on the human body. Regardless of the results discovered, I will reveal the truth to the world! Expect results by my next blog date.

Breakfast: Welp, today was another one of my early days. So I woke up, got a shower, and headed off to botany...and if that's not exciting, I don't know what is! I headed down to the "Cyber-Cafe", which happens to be a popular place to grab some quick sustenance by all the scientists at Millersville. Frankly I think it's a bit overrated, but the concept is cool and it does do its job! Unfortunately, meal plans only cover a little more than 2 dollars for breakfast, which doesn't do much. I grabbed a medium hot chocolate and some pop-tarts because that was pretty much the only thing I could afford to buy with a medium hot chocolate! The hot chocolate was spectacular and I plan to get it more often...but I have to admit that pop tarts are slightly less delicious than I remember them being. Oh well. There's breakfast bitches!

Lunch: For lunch today, I had the decision between eating and sleeping. Needless to say, I chose sleeping.

Dinner: Without any lunch in my system, I was very hungry come 4:00. So as early as it was, I went to dinner. Low and behold it was "traditional turkey dinner" day! Score!

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Shit, I can't eat turkey. Oh well. I packed my plate with mashed potatoes, corn, and stuffing. I didn't really touch the stuffing, but the potatoes and corn were spectacular! I gobbled it up(pun intended), but the motivation for making quick work of that meal came not from it's deliciousity(that should be a word), but rather from my desire to make it towards the dessert table! Pumpkin Pie baby. The best part of Thanksgiving! I had two slices, and it made my day.
Signing out.