Christmas Day

Oh what great fortune beset me last night, when I learned from our favorite Jew, Fat Dan, that I would be posting on Christmas Day. I feel it's a tall task, delivering a post as extraordinary as the holdiday itself. I thought about doing a poem, as Fat Dan and Mrs. Gillies did the last two nights, but I came to the conclusion that I'm way too lazy and tired to conjure up a poem after such as long day. So before I pass out, let's get started.

I awake this morning at 6:40 to the sound of my sister's sweet voice saying, "Get up Erik! It's Christmas morning and Bud and Bes's house is on fire!" Confused as hell, I fall out of my bed and crawl to the crowds. Apparently, our next door neighbors, Bud and Bes, awoke to a blazing fire in their basement! Uh oh! Fire trucks were lined down our street, and even parked in our driveway. Thank the Christmas miracle, the fire was doused and no one was harmed! Hallejujah!

After all the initial excitement, we make our way downstairs and open presents under the tree. Here are some of the highlights for me: Stovepipe Top Hat, Leather Sport Jacket, Nintendo themed Monopoly, "Plug in and Play" TV Press Your Luck, Catcher in the Rye, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Wii Points.... A FIREWALL POSTER. Considering my list was so meager, according to my mother, I thought I did pretty well.

Christmas Breakfast:
After all the paper had been torn, and the ribbons peeled, and the boxes opened, my mother engaged the stovetop. We ate in the dining room for only the second or third time all year, and it was magnificent. I had scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, and even a shot of champagne (which I painfully downed). Delicious work, and props go to Mom, Dad, and Jon.

After that, I relaxed a little before showering and getting ready to go to my Grandma and Grandpa Markey's house. I wore dress pants, a white collared shirt, a new tie, dress shoes!, my new leather sport jacket, and my 19th century stovepipe top hat. I looked very spiffy. Grandma had some awesome orderves prepared. She had turkey, ham, and cheese cubes that we could dip in honey mustard sauce. Very tasty! My one year old cousin, Harry, got to open presents first, who in turn became very uninterested once he started getting clothes. After that, us older kids got to begin the opening frenzy. I got chocolate, video games, and a few hardback great pieces of American literature. Nice!

After that, we played Pool and Yahtzee, chatted a while, and basically waited for more food. Let's get too it.

Christmas Dinner:
A Christmas Ham, cheesy potatoes, and bread and butter! Delicious job by my dear Grandma. For dessert, my own sweet mother prepared a variety of cookies, including butter, sugar, and ginger snap cookies! Mom also baked some some chocolate covered Oreos, which were out of this world. Delicious.

After Harry becomes restless as the eight o clock hour approaches, people decide the fun had been exhausted. "Merry Christmas" we all wished each other as we pack our things into our respective cars.

And so as Jesus becomes some two thousand and eleven years old or so, we can all take pleasure in the knowledge that this annual celebration is awesome. With the exception of Thanksgiving maybe, this is THE eating holiday. I thank Jesus and all of you for having to oppurtunity to rant about my gluttony.

Merry Christmas, Ian, Fat Dan, New Bill, Meredith, Mrs. Gillies, and all of our loyal readers!

-Professor Nesto