Many people's lies revolve around the pearls of wisdom and nuggets of food described on this site. To these people, whom have suffered through adjective ailments, barren brains, cureless cabin-fever, disconnected despair, earth-shattering emptiness and other fuzzily-described feelings, I apologize. Lay all your blame on Ms. Stacey Gerlach - may she be publicly whipped, thrown at by pies, and shamed and thereby learn her lesson. She has still not posted (or communicated her will to post) and so I am claiming Martial Law on this blog. All this base are belong to me.
Today is Memorial Day: day of yard-work, barbecue, and (for some) the beach. It occurred to me today, whilst I pondered how hamburgers equate to memorials, that perhaps holidays are not all only about the food. Maybe holidays are all about the food only to ME. And then I thought more about how holidays pretty much exist only to boost the economy and I faltered in my victual ways no more.
Today is Memorial Day: day of yard-work, barbecue, and (for some) the beach. It occurred to me today, whilst I pondered how hamburgers equate to memorials, that perhaps holidays are not all only about the food. Maybe holidays are all about the food only to ME. And then I thought more about how holidays pretty much exist only to boost the economy and I faltered in my victual ways no more.
I drove for the first time in almost half a year today -- and on the highway no less. This drive marked my introduction to Highway Merging, the dame of legends. And while she was not quite the murderous bitch I'd been contemplating, she is still Blind Date That you Reluctantly Agree to a Second Date With Because you owe Dave a big Favor and his Sister-In-Law is in Town for the Week and she actually IS Blind and Knocked Over the Coffee Onto Your Last Pair of Clean Pants Because Your Washing Machine Broke and you Can't Afford to fix it Because You're in Between Jobs, Goddamn Outsourcing. Oh, and she looks like Angela Lansbury (picture on left.) I was told to drive around 55 mph (speed limit was 60) so I was constantly being passed by impatient SUVs. I was all alone on my stretch of the road except for a single car that stayed behind me for a while. If I slowed down or sped up they stuck with me - we had a highway relationship going on and I wasn't so lonely anymore. But then the bastards got impatient and left me too! It'll be worth it though, because once I get my license I'll have a badass Minivan to drive around and go to the Blue Fountain Diner whenever I want. Also, maybe even a job if someone finally decides to hire me!
Speaking of jobs, I applied to work at the movie theater, and speaking of movie theaters, how about that Harrison Ford fellow. We (Tyler, Erik, Ian, Jesse and Myself) saw it on opening night Wednesday and it was quite the experience! I saw it again yesterday (just to clear up some plot elements, you see) and it was still quite the experience! I don't want to ruin anything, but there's a picture that I can't help show you. If anything, it's a teaser!
"Russians!"
Edit: Sheesh, 200th post already?! This calls for a celebration, perhaps at the diner, maybe with confetti, definitely with cake. Who knew this thing would actually stick this long...
Cheers!
Speaking of jobs, I applied to work at the movie theater, and speaking of movie theaters, how about that Harrison Ford fellow. We (Tyler, Erik, Ian, Jesse and Myself) saw it on opening night Wednesday and it was quite the experience! I saw it again yesterday (just to clear up some plot elements, you see) and it was still quite the experience! I don't want to ruin anything, but there's a picture that I can't help show you. If anything, it's a teaser!
"Russians!"Breakfast: Panera Bread has these cinnamon bagels that are coated in sugar and can seriously be tastefully eaten by themselves. A bit of cream cheese to top it off and it's quite a meal!
Lunch: For lunch I only had some crackers because an early dinner was looming and cinnamon bagels are surprisingly filling.
Dinner: I drove to my Aunt's house in Ambler (40 minutes away) for a Memorial Day picnic type dealio. Where better to have hamburgers than at a vegetarian's house! I had the aforementioned burger (medium well) and some pineapple (separate.) For dessert there is no better place for ice cream than Dairy Delite: cookies 'n cream in a cone. On a side note: I always know how to spell "dessert" vs. "desert" because the former has the more s's because you want more of it. Just a tip.
Lunch: For lunch I only had some crackers because an early dinner was looming and cinnamon bagels are surprisingly filling.
Dinner: I drove to my Aunt's house in Ambler (40 minutes away) for a Memorial Day picnic type dealio. Where better to have hamburgers than at a vegetarian's house! I had the aforementioned burger (medium well) and some pineapple (separate.) For dessert there is no better place for ice cream than Dairy Delite: cookies 'n cream in a cone. On a side note: I always know how to spell "dessert" vs. "desert" because the former has the more s's because you want more of it. Just a tip.
Edit: Sheesh, 200th post already?! This calls for a celebration, perhaps at the diner, maybe with confetti, definitely with cake. Who knew this thing would actually stick this long...
Cheers!
8 comments:
Hahaha, my third grade teacher taught us the dessert vs. desert mnemonic!
i love driving slow! this one time when I started driving, I went like 10 mi/hr on like a 40 mi/hr road and this car filled with jocky boys kept honking. So of course I just went slower :) They stopped honking real quick, and I obliged by hitting the gas.
PS, I'm sure Angela Lansbury would look better if she grew out her hair. And got rid of those earrings. And showed teeth when she smiled. That is, if she has nice teeth. If she doesn't, maybe it is a good thing she keeps them locked away.
I'm rambling but I'm barely awake...
There's no need for snide remarks, Mr. Benyishay.
You shouldn't say stuff like that, even if it's a joke. Some people don't appreciate it.
What if I couldn't post because of a car accident? Or a death in the family? How would that make you look?
I like writing in the food blog, but it's not like you did anything to remind me about blogging.
Also, it's not like anyone reads my entries, so I doubt anyone missed mine.
i did ! :(
you messed up with the new poll considering you have to be all three, not just classy, snazzy OR jazzy. DUHH
Dannie Benny Shy - All of your relatives, some parents, some brothers, one sister, many cousins, some first, some second, some once removed, some twice, have been admiring your biting blog-based satire this evening in Bethesda, Maryland. Yes, that's right, your fans are collecting everywhere. LIke old spilled milk in the corner of the kitchen floor, way back in that spot where the counter meets the wall and you just can't ever clean there because you're a lazy ass and you don't want to get down on your hands and knees. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, right, YOUR fans. AND relatives. So we're all here in this house reading your ramblings and giggling, enjoying your metaphorical riffs on driving while listening to your closest blood relatives tell us your stories of life as a maintenance engineer. This event is only the latest in a series of several D.C.-area gluttonous, group overeating exercises, all in honor of the bar mitzvah of one Andrew Raymond Schaengold. So what I'm trying to say is we wish you and witty self were here but at least we have your kickin' blog. Rock on, cousin. - Rob and all the other blood.
If you were actually making fun of Angela Lansbury, you're dead, Jolly Man!
Murder She Wrote!
Post a Comment