For our last speech, follow this scenario: Our planet has been invaded by friendly aliens from outer space who have come to live among us. Though they are advanced enough to have reached our planet, they are child-like, simple creatures. They don’t know how to behave, or inter-act, or maneuver through life on Earth. Compose a speech in which you offer your own wisdom to these beings. What should they know about our world and how should they conduct themselves? What’s important in life? Is it family? Finding true love? Acquiring real estate? Whatever you have learned in your approx 2 decades of life, pass this on to our new neighbors who will live among us. The class will assume the role of the aliens during your speech. In addition to the delivery of your speech, you’ll be graded on your inventiveness and ability to take an offbeat assignment and do it justice. Use of visuals strongly encouraged.
Well. What do you make of that! Now, normally I would be ALL into doing a speech like this. Speech IS my favorite class and one I do really well. However, since my last speech was described as "sort-of-nervous-half-awkward-half-overly-casual" by my prof, because I did a stupid topic that I wasn't comfortable with (why birthday parties are overrated...on my birthday). He gave me an A probably for a birthday present.
But, I have this stupid speech that needs to be written by TOMORROW at 2. I have no idea what to write though. Here are my options:
1. Try everything once!
2. Be self-reliant
3. Manipulation is the key to success
The only problem is, what am I supposed to about this? What do you say to aliens other than "Get off my planet???"
Well you know what I'll be chewing on all night. But this is what I chewed on all day:
Breaky: honey bunches of oats
Lunch: cup of cheetos
Dinner:pot roast, mixed vegetables, salad with french dressing, cornbread, and...coffee
Late-night snack: mac'n'cheese & a tahiti cookie
7 comments:
First off Anna,
you say hello to your cousins for you are half of them and half ape. There is the missing link. this is why they cannot find the "Bones" of the missing monkeys in the evolution chain. there are none.
Then you thank them for the technology they have been implanting into scientitsts brains in the past 100 years. Anything you can imagine from technology to medicine.(they didn't just think this crap up. I find it amazing that all of a sudden all ove the world one person here or there will suddenly think of an idea at the same time as another on another part of the planet.
Theres a reason for that.
Then you ask them about the universe out there and what is going on on different planets. If they can please help us stop making things that are going to blow up the planet and take some of these idiots off the planet if they can.
Jesus was an alien which explains why we look up in the air and there is light surrouding him in all photos. they sent him hear to calm our asses down and put come morals into us so that we didn't kill each other.(also how can we explain the midevil paintings with space ships in the background)
this is also going to explain alot concerning the 7 wonders of the world such as building the pyramids, the heads on Easter Island, Stone henge(its easy for them to move stone when you have a ship and can manage gravity and levitatte things. makes them look pretty Godlike doesnt it? And when your a peasant, you would be very impressed by that kind of power and might worship it. Angels are another example.
We are an experiment, which is why none of this existing makes any sense. The more intelligent you are the more likely you will be transported off this rock by them when the time comes.
"Try everything once" sounds good.
And Mrs. Gillies, I didn't know you saw the new Indiana Jones movie!
Explain to them that if they ever need to find anything on our planet, Harrison Ford can give them a hand. He seems to have a handle on things.
what the hell are you two talking about?
Haha, be careful though, because if you upset the aliens, Anna Mathew, they'll burn your eyes right out of their sockets!
I didn't upset the aliens! They gave me very positive reviews, as did the teacher!
I ended up doing the speech on why you should never take anyone's advice. Muahahahahha. I believe it too!
I just watched the last Indiana Jones movie for the first time and it was goooood. Best one (that I've seen) by far. If only it had that ADORABLE asian kid, Short Round. That would have been a mighty fine cherry on a might fine iced cake.
Did I ever mention that in 2nd grade, my friend nick called me indiana? A combination of INDIAN + ANNA. Good times.
ps, I meant the Indy movie with Sean Connery in it. C'mon: Harrison Ford + Sean Connery< Harrison Ford + Sean Connery + Short Round!
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