Slurpee Time!

These summer times tend to produce the illusion where the days and weeks seem to blend together. In May and most of June, there was no Constant. It didn't matter what day it was because I had nothing to do on any of those days. When I started volunteering, the merging of days subsided slightly, but since it's only one day a week, I'm still not even close to completely aware.

So it wasn't until BFD sat in the passenger's seat of my car and opened his mouth did I learn that today was none other than July 7, 7/11. AKA Free Slurpee Day. Even with the overcast skies, I could feel the light of Dole shining brightly in my face.

Today was Bill Crossland's birthday party. I told my Mom right before I left that it was a birthday party, and she yelled at me for not getting him anything. Oops. I guess I didn't even think of that. Ah, but Dole had a plan. When we entered the 7-11 right next to Bill's house to get our free slurpees, BFD and I came across a "large" card selection. Meaning, it was a large card. Get it? But the opened card was only slightly smaller than the size of my windshield. Unfortunately, there was only one Jumbo Card there, and it featured a couple of bears hugging each other on a hill, and the text said something about eternal love. But whatever, we got it anyway, and Dan decided to get a sharpie to customize the card to our own liking.

The bears became Mr. and Mrs. Crossland, with the former prominently featured with his chainsaw. Infant Bill is resting in his cradle, with his bear parents ignoring him completely. It was a fascinating depiction by the artistic BFD. And of course, we very lazily scratched out the text and replaced it with some birthday talk. My personal favorite part of this whole jumbo card business was the gigantic envelope that accompanied it. Dan needed to direct the recipient with his useful sharpie to the side with the opening flap, because without direction, a simple man would be lost for hours scouring that the massive white landscape for a way inside.

And of course, it was the best card Bill ever got. As for the party itself, Dan, Ian, and I spent most of our time discussing the intricacies of the Assenchip mythology and timeline, while attempting to map it out on the back of a cardboard party plate.

Ian eventually left, and a little while later, BFD and I decided it was time to continue/begin our Slurpee quest. We went all over the world to 7-11's from every corner, just for free slurpees. We went to Langhorne, and then Newtown, and then two different locations in Levittown. At Newtown, we parked in the handicapped spot because I'm handicapped. Makes sense, no? So as we're pulling out, some crotchety old hag glared at Dan and I. This confused both of us. Is this woman insane? And then as she walked next to the passenger seat window, she pointed in the direction of our parking spot. Yes, yes that is a parking spot. But BFD, sharp as a tack, quickly realized that this woman is accusing us of innapropriately occupying a handicapped spot, and that she wanted that spot for herself. If only I had known what she was trying to say. I would've made her feel like a complete ass. I hate it when old people pretend that they're handicapped. No, you're old, not handicapped. I'm actually physically impaired, you dumb bitch.

But anyway, somewhere in between Newtown and Levittown, we picked up our good friend Nick Gillies, who attempted to illustrate the idiocy of going around all over the place to get tiny cups of slurpee when you could very easily spend a dollar at one location to get a full sized slurpee. I guess he doesn't understand the allure of free stuff. And plus, the joke's on him, because he dropped his gallon of milk and it exploded all over the final 7-11's parking lot. It cannot be denied, though, that he did purchase a carton of milk for his mother.

And then somehow, Ian appeared as if from nowhere in that final parking lot, and we said, "Hey, let's go to the diner!" And that was that.

Breakfast (?): Bacon and eggs (my brother was home from DC, so my Dad made him some breakfast. Whatevs.)

Lunch: I had some chips and ranch dressing at Bill's party.

Dinner: Cheesesteaks.

Other: Lots of slurpees. And a milkshake at the diner.

(Insert lots of pictures).